Dealing with the depression that comes with something as negative as an amputation can be very difficult. I mentioned one vet I knew who was a double below the knee amputee who checked out. It overwhelmed him and he lost hope. Hope keeps you going.
That's the only thing that kept me going for about six months ending six months ago. I had a delayed reaction to the amputation. I got depressed and even suicidal three years after I lost my right leg above the knee. I wasn't in pain like the vet mentioned in the previous paragraph, but I got overwhelmed with the prospect of getting old and soon being unable to take care of myself and having to go into a nursing home. Its something that many people face, especially since 40% of all house holds in the United States are headed by a single person. While many of these people have friends and family close to them, I didn't. One day after a bad day in the dentists chair, the anxiety just washed over me and I had to call mental health at the va, and check into the hospital for a week. Actually I was fine the next day, but my psychiatrist was worried about me and wouldn't let me go home. Note that I wasn't irrational or dangerous (except to myself), I was just having a major anxiety attack, and felt overwhelmed. I didn't have a plan or a means to off myself, but I knew I was on shaky ground, so I checked myself in. So, after being bored for a week (theres nothing to do in the hospital but watch tv), they let me go home and after some therapy and in a few more months I came out of the depression.
But, I still didn't have much of a future. What I faced was a long slow physical and mental decline leading to institutionalization. Well, thats what a nursing home is. No matter how many sing-a-longs they have, how many visits from therapy dogs or cats, or even how many visits from friends and loved ones, you don't have independence. You are warehoused.
So, I did some thinking. I came to realize over some weeks that I needed a purpose and direction to keep going. I saw a Ted x talk by a ninety three year old man who said he thought you needed work, diet and exercise (in that order) to keep going and live a long and enjoyable life. I would add that you need love too.
I decided to start a blog, and that lead to the idea of a video blog on You-tube, and to video myself touring on the recumbent adult tadpole trike (two wheels in front, one in back that drives it) the va gave me to have a form of aerobic exercise. I watched You-tube videos galore. I got a notion of what made a good one and a bad one. I decided to start video recording anything I thought entertaining and interesting. I knew I'd have to be bad before I was good enough to get any kind of following. So I started video recording everything I could do with one hand. Well, not everything, if you get my drift. I'm 70 years old. That's not very interesting, even to me, anymore. And I've not posted any. I'm just using my phone's camera. Got to make one interesting before I post it.
So, that's the plan. Blog, video blog and post, and start a web site, so if I get any kind of following, people have a place to go see??? What. well, touring books, repair how to videos, who knows. The point is, it gives me a purpose.
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